Life is hard.

This week, I saw many middle school students impacted by their first real tragedy. A Hudson Middle School teacher who also attended our church was arrested for showing an inappropriate video to a middle school boy. This teacher was so devastated that a few days later, he took his own life. Most middle school students cannot wrap their minds around such a tragic series of events with someone they knew and looked up to. I had the task of ministering to students impacted by this tragedy. My job, as their pastor, was to help them by responding biblically, but the bottom line is that this is terrible. For the first time, middle school students began to realize that life is hard. It's so important to remind them that Jesus himself said, "In this world, you will have trouble." I mean Jesus has given a ton of incredible promises throughout Scripture, but this one is not so easy to swallow. The truth is...life is hard and this won't be the last tragedy some of these students experience throughout their life. Let's not lie to them...let's not tell them following Christ equals an easy life. They must know the truth. But let's also make sure we finish Jesus words in John 16:33. It says, "In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Followers of Jesus live with a hope that all terrible things in life will come to an end because Jesus has overcome it all.

Walk with Them

Just this week, I met with a student whose dad is dying of cancer. This is something that no 13 year old boy should have to deal with. After all, being 13 is difficult enough. This day in age is the hardest it's ever been for middle school students. On top of dealing with peer pressure, popularity, puberty, and sexual issues, they are faced with family deaths, parental divorces, single parent homes, illnesses, violence, abuse, and the list goes on. My heart goes out to them, but my mind keeps going back to how vital it is for every student to have an adult to walk through the teen years with. Someone who is not their parent. Someone who will listen. Someone who will care. Someone who will be there. Someone who loves them with the love of Jesus. If not, who will be there through the tough times? And most importantly, how will they respond to death, divorce, and illness? In my ministry, it is our goal to make sure that each student has an adult they can turn to. Someone to walk through life with. While we have not completely accomplished our goal, I love watching students form relationships with adults who care. It is happening in our ministry and we are looking for more of it. This particular boy whose dad is dying didn't have that person in his life, but his mom pursued one. Does your middle school student have that? If not, I strongly suggest you find someone. It can make all the difference.

An encouraging Christmas Trend

Christmas for middle school students has always been a discouragement to me, especially because most of the students I know come from wealthy families. It seems like they always get what they want and more for Christmas (a lot like my life in middle school), which usually leaves them more selfish and ungrateful than they were before Christmas. BUT...I am seeing a growing trend among many parents this Christmas which has been an encouragement to me. More parents are giving fewer gifts to their children. More parents are focusing on teaching their children the true spirit of this holiday...giving. I have even seen some parents giving to charities or missions in their child's name. I think it's great. I think it's exactly what Jesus would want his birthday to look like. You see, Jesus' life was all about you and me. He was born in humility, lived his life with humility, and died the most humiliating death. All for you and me. So let's teach our children that Christmas is all about Jesus and all about others. That is the true spirit of Christmas. That's why we celebrate. So when Christmas morning comes around this year...let's make it about Jesus and others...not sure how you will do that...but we are celebrating the birth of Jesus, people. Jesus.

Fingertip Porn

Now that I have your attention, let me explain. Pornography has never been more accessible as it is right now. I would say that 70% of the middle school students I know have cell phones and texting capabilities. That means that any of them at any time can receive pornography via text messaging. It blows my mind to think that pornography is being passed around, even during the school day. Don't believe me? Check this out. And this. This is scary stuff, especially for parents.

So the big question is what do we do about it? Cell phones are really convenient for kids to have. I agree with this statement, but at what point does convenience need to take a backseat to safety. I am not saying that we have to start taking cell phones away completely, but I am saying that middle school students should not be entitled to any kind of privacy with these phones. It's for their own good. Most importantly, our students need to be educated about pornography and its pitfalls. There will come a day (if it hasn't happened yet) where parents will not able to protect, and students have to make their own choice about pornography. Therefore, its more important to warn and educate then just restrict.

What is most troublesome to me are the teenage girls that are sending nude pictures of themselves via text message to their friends. These girls are driving on a dead end street. So the education is for both girls and boys...and its the responsibility of parents partnering with the church. Parents, let's not bury our head in the sand about this...it's happening, and most likely your kids know all about it. Talk to them.

More information and practical action steps for parents.

What about me?

I am continually challenged by middle schoolers pushing boundaries to see how far they can go. This is a common trait that we like to say is "typical" of middle school children. As I thought about it, I was convicted to think about my own life and what boundaries I like to push. They are different boundaries then the middle schoolers, but boundaries none the less. We all like to push boundaries in some way or another. I think if we as adults were better at showing middle schoolers the right way to live and stopped telling them the right way to live we would have a mucher higher success rate. I am tired of saying "do as I say, and not as I do", with my actions. No, I never really say that verbally, but I fear we send this message on a regular basis. I will give you a small example. I regularly engage in conversations about appropriate music with my students. Did you know that as a parent, if it is on your ipod, they think that means it must be appropriate for them to listen to. That is the rational I often hear, "Its on my dad's ipod!" Ouch, that it difficult for me to hear, because anything I say from there on out does not matter to that student, dad has already "endorsed" the music. Or even worse they might ask if it is on my ipod. Am I saying that as adults we need to live by the same standards that we hold our middle schooler to? Only if we want our middle schoolers to really accept that standard and make it their own.

Middle Schoolers can change the world....NOW!

Sometimes, it's obvious to me why middle school students are wild and goofy, and don't take anything seriously. Could it be that no one takes them seriously enough? It seems like all the adults in their lives are telling them everything they are doing wrong, everything they are not doing, exposing their immaturity, and more. But are they being challenged? The most important thing I like to communicate to middle school students is the truth that they don't have to wait until they grow up to make a difference for Christ. They can impact their world for Christ NOW! Take a look at Scripture. David was just a boy (probably middle school age) when he killed Goliath. Mary was just a young teenager when she gave birth to the Savior of the world. There are several other examples of young men and women whom God used at a surprisingly young age.

The other day, I had a conversation with an 8th grade boy named Evan. At our fall retreat, he heard the speaker challenge students to think of a person who might be the hardest to love, and try to show them the love of Christ. Evan shared with me that immediately someone came to mind in his life. I asked him who it was. He said it's a boy at my school who is ""flamboyantly gay". Evan asked, "what do I do?" I loved the conversation. Evan was compelled by Jesus to show Christ to the hardest kid in school to love. See, middle school students are really getting it. They are ready to make a difference in their middle school world. Tell them they can change the world...they might surprise you.

Processing the Gospel

I had the privilege this past week to pray with 2 middle school students to receive Christ as Savior. There is no greater joy of mine! I love to watch students process the whole thing. Middle school students are at the age, where the gospel no longer seems as simple as it used to be in Sunday School. They begin to ask the tough questions. One of the students that I prayed with to receive Christ spent a considerable amount of time asking questions and processing the whole idea of the gospel. I loved it because you could almost see him trying to wrap his mind around this whole idea. He had great questions. Then, when he got it, you could see it in his eyes. He said, "Ok, I'm ready!" It was great!

That night was the culmination of a series we are doing on the whole redemption story. We found it effective to tell God's whole story found in the Bible and show them that the story is about them. In our series, we walked through the Bible in 6 weeks. We talked about Creation, the Fall, Sin, the Law, the cycle of sin in Judges, and then redemption through Christ. We allowed students to process the gospel by looking at the whole story. I have realized that I don't allow students the chance to process the gospel enough. It needs to happen more. It has to be their decision. It has to come alive to them. It has to be their story. Allow them to see how God created us. Allow them to see their own sin and their own need for help. Allow them to grasp the love of Christ. Allow them to see that the Bible is not a history book, but it's a love story...it's God's story for their lives.